He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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