he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
