The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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