He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think your dad took our porno
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk