I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My feet surprised me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
