My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
