Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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