lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
they're like a gay fantastic four
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
