I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
