btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize