nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
