I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
