we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
