why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
