dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
