I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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