Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
