I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
