Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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