someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize