Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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