He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
