found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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