Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
