If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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