69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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