How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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