I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
