you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
