I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The dick lei will go down in squad history
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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