Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
