U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
