Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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