Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
