Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize