there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
