girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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