she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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