Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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