she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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