I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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