Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Randomize
