i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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