Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
