My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
