he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you traded sex for a burrito?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
