she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
