C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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