Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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