At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
