Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
