I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
