People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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