I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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