you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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