I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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