Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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