What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
