Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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