Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
