can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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