It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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