i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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