she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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