Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
