A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
