drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize