I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
we should paint friendship bongs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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