Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
